Project Samsara - The Writ Speaks

How old is Samsara? Depends on what you consider the proper place to start.

If you first consider that Project Samsara spawned from the ruins of SBL1, then you could say Project Samsara began on June 7th, 2021, with the release of SBL1’s Phase One. Definitely quite a long time ago, and harkens back to an era defined by cloud-hosted literature and the swift realization that this is not how these things are done.

You could also consider when I invoked Scenario 3 and 7 - utterly meaningless concepts this far removed - which triggered a revision and rewrite of the project. A good way to mark this time is when I got the Obsidian markdown file manager, which I use until this day to build the project. The resolving of Scenarios 3 and 7 were the catalyst that pushed me to abandon SBL1 and build something new altogether. In that case, the beginning of Project Samsara can be said to be May 5th, 2022.

But in reality, both of those dates still hinge on SBL1.

Project Samsara officially began on October 3rd, 2022. That was when I broke past SBL1 and began rebuilding the old writ that would form the bedrock of the project. I could take another angle too, that Project Samsara - in that it is a resurrection and perfection of every idea I’ve ever had in new writ - actually began when I took my first breath.

But I’ll save you that and where that discussion can go. Consider something else entirely; the concept of proving one’s self.

I have always been a firm believer in doing just to assert to the self that it can be done. It was much of what guided the first ever writing I ever did, in the form of comics I wrote in exercise books in elementary school. Those of you who’ve followed this yarn know this all already. I graduated to writing, mucked about on little things, and then wanted to shoot for something big. I wanted to write a novel - or at least, the silhouette of one. For upwards of four years or so, I put together a tome I called The Alchemaster.

I realized towards the end of it that it would take quite a bit of polish to make it passable. Polish became editing, then the drafts for a rewrite, then I decided to stop the cope and confront the reality staring back at me; it sucked and I came to dislike it because it sucked. Didn’t stop me from trying to make a sequel however, and a prequel bit as well. But eventually I binned everything that was the writ and world for The Alchemaster. Coupled with the original manuscript, sequel bits and prequel writ, The Alchemaster was about one-hundred-and-ninety thousand words of narrative and worldbuilding.

A dreadful loss yes, but it taught me something; if I could bin nearly two hundred thousand words and four years of work and still sleep soundly at night, there was nothing that could possibly stop me. The loss gave me a clarity of purpose; I had to out-do The Alchemaster. I could not let things end there.

Time did what time does and I began SBL1, wrote about ninety-thousand words of it, then binned that too. By that time, I was a man possessed. The most important thing to me - more than anything - was outdoing the version of me that wrote, wrote and wrote but never kept any of it. The version of me that built and built but never inhabited, never truly got to see whatever I did reach a satisfying end.

Pursuing this goal wasn’t without expense, and I really don’t care to give much weight to what that expense was. It came but it never outlived me. I always won. My mantra was a simple one; “This too, shall pass.”

The mandate upon me was to plan, draft, build and finish in a manner that I had never done before. Build harder, faster, and better. Set goals and exceed them. Meet the limits and exceed those too. Push past everything, because by all means I vowed to never become what I once was ever again.

In reality, I achieved that much earlier than I ever gave myself credit for. I exceeded SBL1’s quality from the get-go and SBL1’s wordcount not long after than that. Then I doubled it. Then I exceeded The Alchemaster’s wordcount. Then I tripled SBL1’s. Then I doubled The Alchemaster’s. Then I quadrupled SBL1’s and went on to ship four-hundred-thousand words of Project Samsara; the most I’ve ever written on anything, ever.

So standing now at the highest height I’ve ever attained, I realize now that there remains nothing to challenge or condemn me. I simply did it. I’d done it long ago but I never looked up from the grindstone because pausing was too great a risk to take, in case I lose resolve. But I realize now that that fear is gone.

I’m locked in for good now; Project Samsara is a part of me. There is nothing else left to fear or doubt.

The writ speaks for itself.

There is nothing else to say on the matter but that after it all, I remain ever hungry. Of course I’m unsatisfied; there’s so much more that I had planned for this update than I ever let on, but that too shall come. I am dissatisfied yes, but more importantly no longer afraid. I am thrilled by what I have built, and exhilarated by how much more there is to do.

Be a part of it. I have so much more to show you.

This is only the beginning, Cryogen, Shattered Scribe

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